Do not cross!!

58 comments, 805 points

Do not cross!!

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58 comments, 805 points

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  1. Haha! Love it!

    It recalls to mind a sign I saw in 1985 at an alligator sanctuary near the Everglades. It was at the end of a dock that extended about 30 yds out into a lake, surrounded by a tall chain link safety fence. In said lake lived Beauregard, a very large American Alligator.

    There was a raised platform at the end of said dock, where one could better search for Beauregard, still fenced, but not as high.

    It was here that the hand lettered sign was placed;

    “Please don’t reach over! Not only is Beauregard capable of reaching your arm and removing it at the shoulder… he wants to.”

  2. The old joke.

    An FBI agent shows up at a farm. He tells the farmer ‘There is a report you are growing marijuana on the property, here is the search warrant. I’m going have a look around.’ The old farmer says ‘Well I’ve been a farmer here for 50 years and have never run afoul of the law, but if you need to verify feel free to look anywhere you want, but stay out of the back pasture.’ The agent holds up the warrant and snears ‘This warrant says I can go anywhere on the property, so that’s what I’ll be doing!’ Farmer says ‘if you wish, I’ll be working in the barn.’

    Thirty minutes later the farmer hears the agent yelling for help and sees him running from a bull in the pasture. The farmer runs to the fence and yells ‘Show him the warrant!’

  3. I was chased by a bull once when I was a kid. It was at an event in a barn and the bull was supposed to be locked up, but he got out. Me and a few other kids were outside the barn when we spotted that bull heading for us full tilt. I’ve never run so fast in my life and that boy was covering serious ground. Adults were shutting the barn door as we came through and they dropped the board, several of them bracing shoulders against, too, and that bull hit the door. Adults toppled to the floor from the force of it and the board partially snapped. Fortunately, the bull lost interest and wandered off. That timber would not have held a second blow. He probably could have just pushed it open at that point, since the board was mostly snapped already. One of the scariest moments of me life.

  4. The fundamental issue with that sign is that it is giving permission and assurances for crossing the field if you can do it in 9 seconds. If that bull has a good day and beats its ~~personal~~ bovinal best and takes you out in 8 seconds, they’re totally open to a lawsuit.

  5. A much younger and dumber me had a friend who lived next to a big field with cows and a bull, we used to cross the field as a shortcut to another friends. One of the scariest moments of my life was running from that damn bull. Luckily he never got close enough to hit us.

  6. I would never enter a field with a bull, unless I had a shotgun (for stopping power) that is almost powerful enough to dislocate my shoulder. Bulls are fucking scary.